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PostSubject: ??   Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:08 pm

Edited now that I have calmed down , edits in (perinthesies)

So , Marsha , why did you lock the thread I started? I believe it was totally odd for you to do that. I finally listen to God, I finally understand, I finally admit wrong admit my wrong thoughts, and its not good enough?(I dont believe it wasnt good enough) What the heck is wrong with you?(sorry for sounding rude Your a good lady) Ive tried to never be rude to you but I think you went a bit power hungry there,(no, I dont really think your power hungry) I dont know what you could have seen in my confession to kill the thread. But if censorship of Gods works in a sinners life is what you and sanctuary stand for these days I dont need it.(actually I do need Sanctuary, I always will) Even pastor bob congradulated me on finally becoming obedient when I wrote him. Then you do this. I completely dont understand.(i really dont)
Of course you will just delete this too or lock it or whatever.scratch(my final attack at being hurt when I was being so open and vunerable)


Last edited by Jim Burns on Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:34 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Edited because I calmed down a bit and got over some of the hurt)
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PostSubject: Re: ??   Wed Jul 23, 2008 7:49 am

I may be the one needing to apologize if that is indeed was your intent - to admit your wrong thoughts. Now that you have explained more, it makes more sense.

However, if you will, or can (sometimes it is hard to read your own writing objectively) re-read your original post, it does not sound repentant, just resigned to live with "truth" silently, STILL believing it, but accepting God as the judge and stepping aside for Him to deal with them, while you deal with your own life.

Quote :
By exposing the Godlessness, unbelief, and complete fallen state of sin that whole races of others are in does not tell God one thing that he doesn't already know. I have been wasting my time exposing those that does not believe in Jesus. I have been wasting my time exposing those that are genetically predisposed to violent crimes... GOD KNOWS ALREADY. He also knows my sin and shortcomings. He will deal with the non believer. He will deal with the violent criminal minded. He will also deal with me.
All I need to worry about is the last card that is going to be played. That is my judgement before a righteous God. This earth can fall and burn, I must make sure my life is pleasing to God. He is in control of the rest. Instead of exposing the evil ones, I should mourn for them. Hell is just as real as heaven.
I must return to the fold. Ive been on my own too long. God give me strength to follow through. I dont have many chances left.

It sounded to me that you are hurting because no one recognizes the "truths" that you have exposed so you are now resigning yourself to just letting God deal with it.

While that sounds good on the outside - again, to me, and maybe only to me - it sounds like you are STILL in your racist beliefs, but recognize that God alone will deal with them (and you, of course) and you are going to work on your own life only.

Power hungry? No, Jim. your first instinct is right - I am certainly not power hungry.

Actually, my thinking in locking the thread was protection FOR you from others. Smile You know your beliefs are in the minority and your writings can be cryptic as to what you are fighting spiritually. Looking back, it doesn't even come close to looking that that, does it? hehehe But it's true, as Ian and others can testify, I have defended you vigorously to those less inclined to believe you are capable of changing.

So, help me understand - what do you believe now regarding the different races of mankind and is it important to distinguish race and if so, why? But, of course, if this is still too sensitive, you may choose not to answer.

And like I said, if I need to apologize for misunderstanding, I stand very ready to do that. I love you, Jim, you know that. However, if my interpretation is correct, please let me know.

And trust me - I pray I am wrong and must apologize.

Quote :
So , Marsha ,


M-A-R-C-I-A **blows a raspberry at Jim**

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Who is like you—
majestic in holiness,
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working wonders?"
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PostSubject: Re: ??   Wed Jul 23, 2008 10:10 am

i think Marcia is a wise person.

kinda like Budah, without the belly and people worshipping her Razz
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PostSubject: Re: ??   Wed Jul 23, 2008 2:59 pm

I don't know why I should even have to explain turning from my flawed thinking. If you believe I am still a racist, then feel free to think that. I know better and must convince ONLY my daughters that my thinking was flawed. I am sure God knows, so I do not need to convince him. I am thankful it is not Sanctuary that I have to convince for my salvation. Although the Sanctuary of the 80s must be thanked for my stronger days with the Lord.

I understand your doubts. It is probably hard to understand how someone as deep into the White Power lifestyle could suddenly change. But you forget. Before I was a Neo Nazi, I was a Born again Christian since 85. That didn't change until 99 with my wife's "murder" and not severely till 2002 when my grief took over my life.. The Christian Lifestyle is EASY to go back to forsaking all others when you open your eyes and heart and hit rock bottom. When you see your sin in your daughters lives it becomes all too real.

As for locking the thread for my protection, No one there was rude or mean to me so far. And if they became mean that just shows that they could not look beyond what I WAS to WHAT I AM NOW. Their reading stopped at what I did believe and not what I know is the truth now. I was resolute that I would not argue with them, my focus is on healing.

As for my belief of God dealing with every ones sin. I hold firm to that belief. GOD will deal with it. With mine, yours , everyone else's. It is not my job to point that sin out to him, HE KNOWS ALREADY. I have to show God my repentance not others sins. I have to confess MY SIN. Its that simple.

You asked me to help you understand what I feel about other races of mankind....I take it at face value. There is other races, there is white, black, Indian, Asian, Mexican, to deny that is just silly because God made them, to admit to it carries absolutely no sin. Its just fact. God made different races. As far as my thoughts about different races. I don't really have any thoughts about it. It don't matter to me anymore. Its a waste of my time to worry about different races including the white race. I have ME and my family to worry about spiritually. My past involvement with racist groups has caused much damage in my families belief system...I am at fault for that , THAT is my only focus right now. If I have to convince anyone that I am genuine it would be my daughters whom look up to me. Not any moderators of an online board, even if it is Sanctuary, MY rock N Roll Refuge since 86.

I don't know how I can put it any plainer? Do I have it all together, HECK NO! Forgivness comes fast as lightning but cleaning spiritual house takes time. Ive decided to stay out of work and live off of savings for about two months to take care of the spiritual house cleaning.

apologies, NO. I don't ask for apologies. I don't deserve apologies because my life up till a few days ago was rancid, unfocused, flawed, and completely steeped in sin.
Perhaps I should apologize for pretty much living at a board full of Christians while I was not living a Christian life myself. I was the self made black sheep. But Sanctuary since 86 was the only place I could turn to and the only place I trusted because Pastor Bob is the only pastor that I have trusted completely since the mid 80s.

To summarize. Until I get myself, and my family back into the will of God I am unable to worry about the sins of the outside world. That I leave to the professionals.
My thinking was flawed when I was trying to point out everyone else's sin. My lifestyle was flawed, my standing with God was flawed. My duties toward my daughters was flawed, my duty toward others that observed me was flawed, I was basically completely obsessed with sin in others while ignoring my own fallen state. I was flawed.


Now again for the second time I am bowing my head, ripe for a kick to the face. I am being completely vulnerable again, something I don't easily allow myself to do. Ive laid it on the table yet a second time and hopefuly the last time. I hope the first kick in the face was sufficient.
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PostSubject: Re: ??   Wed Jul 23, 2008 4:27 pm

Quote :
You asked me to help you understand what I feel about other races of mankind....I take it at face value. There is other races, there is white, black, Indian, Asian, Mexican, to deny that is just silly because God made them, to admit to it carries absolutely no sin. Its just fact. God made different races. As far as my thoughts about different races. I don't really have any thoughts about it. It don't matter to me anymore. Its a waste of my time to worry about different races including the white race. I have ME and my family to worry about spiritually. My past involvement with racist groups has caused much damage in my families belief system...I am at fault for that , THAT is my only focus right now. If I have to convince anyone that I am genuine it would be my daughters whom look up to me. Not any moderators of an online board, even if it is Sanctuary, MY rock N Roll Refuge since 86.

Just beautiful... I am so impressed and humbled. Thank you for your patience with me in explaining.

Quote :
I don't deserve apologies...

Oh, yes you do. I apologize for my doubt. If you were here, I'd hug you and kiss you right on top of your beautiful, bald head.

Quote :
I don't know why I should even have to explain turning from my flawed thinking.

Because it helps your brothers and sisters (ME!!!) truly understand when they have it wrong. Because it makes me feel like I matter to you when you take the time to explain, just like you - your life, your ideas, your thoughts, your family and what you go through - matter to me.

flower

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Who is like you—
majestic in holiness,
awesome in glory,
working wonders?"
Exodus 15:11

http://www.achurchforthecity.org

"I don't reject your Christ, I love your Christ. It's just that so many of you Christians are so unlike your Christ." Mahatma Ghandi
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PostSubject: Re: ??   Wed Jul 23, 2008 4:42 pm

MetalheaD wrote:
i think Marcia is a wise person.

kinda like Budah, without the belly and people worshipping her Razz

She has a quick trigger when it come to locking threads, I remember her Warpath days! Twisted Evil
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PostSubject: Re: ??   Wed Jul 23, 2008 7:14 pm

Perhaps it is your vocabulary that confuses me. Skin color does not equal race. As you have just noted Jim, it is what is on the inside, one's soul, that really matters. I am happy to see you are trying to leave your white supremacist beliefs behind. It is a good step in the right direction, and I applaud your efforts. But leave the vocabulary behind too. Our eyes deceive us many times; it was Jesus I believe who said that if our eyes cause us to sin, better to remove them than see in damnation. Allegory yes; the message fits though. We all look different; some sillier than others, myself included. But one race we are; human.

Cheers!

Ian
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PostSubject: Re: ??   Wed Jul 23, 2008 7:16 pm

And yeah, Marcia's wise. Yoda wise she is.

Cheers!

Ian
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PostSubject: Re: ??   Wed Jul 23, 2008 7:25 pm

Ian wrote:
Perhaps it is your vocabulary that confuses me. But leave the vocabulary behind too.
Cheers!

Ian
I'm sorry, but I speak as I speak. I use the only vocabulary I know. I'm sorry it confuses you but I know no other way of speaking.
Your worries on race, skin color and all of that must remain your worries and beliefs. I'm sorry but I cannot bog myself down with semantics and the issue of race/color and what constitutes each. Ive wasted too much of my life worrying about that. I sincerely hope you can forgive me for avoiding conversation about it. I don't mean to be rude.
God Bless
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PostSubject: Re: ??   Wed Jul 23, 2008 7:54 pm

The Changeling wrote:
MetalheaD wrote:
i think Marcia is a wise person.

kinda like Budah, without the belly and people worshipping her Razz

She has a quick trigger when it come to locking threads, I remember her Warpath days! Twisted Evil

You are insane..... scratch That board had no censorship, no editing, and certainly no locking!

Seriously, I remember saying what was on my mind, but locking? Naaaah..... not me.... I am innocent....


And my hubby does indeed worship my belly! lol!

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"Who among the gods is like you, O LORD ?
Who is like you—
majestic in holiness,
awesome in glory,
working wonders?"
Exodus 15:11

http://www.achurchforthecity.org

"I don't reject your Christ, I love your Christ. It's just that so many of you Christians are so unlike your Christ." Mahatma Ghandi
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PostSubject: Re: ??   Wed Jul 23, 2008 8:26 pm

That's the reaction I was looking for, thanx Marcia! Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: ??   Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:22 pm

PeacethroughX wrote:



And my hubby does indeed worship my belly! lol!

ROFL
that's hillarious....

Jim--i disagree with some of you (former?) beliefs...but im a person who cant live with myself after judging someone, i've hung out with wiccans, gays, and who knows what else...i think you're a cool guy, i leave your personal choices out of it.
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PostSubject: Re: ??   Thu Jul 24, 2008 9:12 pm

^^^
I second all of that. and my hubby worships my belly too! I don't have a six pack - I got a keg!

I know I have said here before that I have read through a lot of the old forum boards and I think that Jim is definately a new creation in Christ.
We all have a little backsliding from time to time this is not heaven we don't have to be perfect.
I try to be cool with everyone until they earn my distrust. Only God can judge us.
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