a question for married and single...

i do not belive there is ONE answer to this question, but to the married, how did you meet your mate? and to the single, how do you meet new people of the opposite sex?

here is my deal: i dont go to bars, i mean, i may go to a club to see a band, but this is not the kind of place i would go to "pick up chicks".

i have a hard time opening up in groups of people. so, i guess "singles groups" are out for me too.

i am on one or 2 personals dating sites, and i have been on a few dates from them, just nothing is clicking.

keep in mind, i was "counceled" by some one in the CCM scene 20 years ago not to date, that dating is a sin, after all. i guess this clown got off on messing with people's lives.

as a result, i didnt date for 7 years. i pretty much missed finding someone in my 20s, which would have been nice. after all that time, when i did finally go on a date again, i was a wreck, and i didnt know how to act!

anyhow, i do know that i am tired of being single. i am not a bad guy, i try to treat people how i would want to be treated, etc.

thoughts?

Dating is a sin? I've heard it all now!

Pastor Bob holds the belief that dating is wrong....I dont fully understand that myself.

so, i guess the ones who have a hard time with crowds of people are pretty much left out?

i think people are different. some are meant to meet someone in groups, some one on one. we are not all wired the same.

all i know is i took my wife from my friend....I seen her, wanted her and got her......I dated her a year and married her. I was happy till God took her home to be with him.

(though i do not pretend to know what you go through), if god took her home to be with him, she is to be envied!

i hope you do not think it was because of you taking her from your friend that that happened as punishment.

sometimes, i think it would be so much easier if it was like some societies; turn 18, and for your birthday, mom and dad brings this beautiful creature into the living room, and says, "happy birthday, son!".

but, since it isn't, we have to do what we have to do.

first off--i think dating in the conventional term of the word is indeed wrong, and dumb, at that.

personally, i'm bad with crowds, and people in general. so why would i go looking for a date in that scenario? she'll come to me when the time is right....if you're looking for a bride the devil will give you one.

(btw guys, i'm in OK with my homie brett, so i won't be on much at all)

I haven't dated in forever, at least that's how long it feels. If I did, it was intended that I would marry the person, later. That didn't happen, though.

All I can say is that I used to be more of an introvert before I started doing CRF. Then, I got more active and have been to 3 Cornerstone trips. I'd do more, but for right now, my family is having a lot of difficulty, and I need to really get my focus down.

I met my husband when I was out having coffee with my buddy-who was the gay guy I used to hang with. I was givin the guy across the room the eye to try to get him to come to me and my friend got all irritated and said talk to him or forget it we gotta go. So I made my move & got the digits.
Ours wasn't a relationship I'd recommend (I wasn't born again then) because a week after our first date we were living together and engaged later that year.
I went on the road with him about a year later when all in all we were married 2 years after we met.
Point of the story, as long as you leave the house I think the right girl/guy is out there waiting for you, you just have to keep your eyes open and brush your teeth and hair before you leave the house - lol

and hi to victors homie brett

If Dating is so wrong, then how do you marry someone? I was always told that dating is seeing if the person youre with is someone you want to be with? That makes no sense to me to say Dating is wrong. When I was single I tried it all, Dating sites, blind dates, etc... none of it worked.

I say Dating is essential in finding a mate. When I say Dating Im talking about without the sexual stuff, etc....

Good point .

I will try to put it simple as I can in my case, if I am crude forgive me, its my way...

I dated alot of girls and got alot of tail I lied, I cheated, I did what I could to get into their jeans.....I dated. THEN
I courted my wife and married her , had three children and 11 years of happyness given to me by the Allfather.

i have been there too, jim. but, i do not think "getting some" is the definition of dating.

yeah, you can "date" (court, whatever) in groups, but that person will be a different person in a group setting than one on one.

i do a lot of internet personals dating (which i am sick of, but it is just hard to meet people otherwise). the unwritten law is usually to meet in an open, public place, a front parking lot, and go out to eat, get to know one another. if it progresses, then maybe go for a walk, or see a movie or something.

also, i do not see affection, holding hands, embracing, a goodnight kiss, to be sin.

since parents chose the mate for their kids in biblical times, dating/courtship (i see them as the same thing, if i say one, i mean the other), were not issues.

i think, in the church, things like dating are so micro-managed sometimes that it becomes confusing to the point where a lot of people never get together with someone.

my 20s blew by me. i didnt date, because i was told not to. a 7 year ansence from dating. when i finally went on a date again, it was basically a disaster, because i basically forgot how to be with someone one on one!

maybe we need to follow what the bible says, and not fill in the blanks. the blanks might be different for different people.