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 THE BAD GUY

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Panzer

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Male Number of posts : 219
Age : 53
Location : West Virginia
Age : 46
Registration date : 2008-12-06

PostSubject: THE BAD GUY   Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:09 pm

I am now the bad guy in my family cause I wont let my sixteen year old daughter get married.......I went from being the cool dad to the scum of the earth in one phone call....they already bought the rings, engagement rings and wedding dress and are mad cause i told them she has to wait till eighteen......I hate being the bad guy but its my responsibility till she turns old enough to at least keep a house clean..............Im the bad one.
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PeacethroughX

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Female Number of posts : 585
Age : 63
Location : Charlotte, NC
Registration date : 2007-05-24

PostSubject: Re: THE BAD GUY   Wed Dec 31, 2008 8:56 am

Good for you, you mean ole daddy!

Now granted, some girls ARE indeed mature enough to get married and run a home at 16, but you know her better than anyone here.

If you want, set some guidelines for her to PROVE herself to you as mature enough to keep a home. Seriously offer her the responsibilities of running your home for a month or two - just remember she is learning and will not be perfect. Her willingness to learn will be your indicator, not the actual "perfection" of the job completed.

Plus there's the matter of her husband-to-be:
Where will he provide her a home?
How will they pay for it?
Will she finish high school? And will she wait until after high school to have a baby?

Have them sit down with you and explain their plan for the next five years. If they have thought it out, then really listen to them. If they have not, then tell them to think about it and present one to you.

She needs to know that you love her and are really watching out for her. It is your job as her daddy to protect her and teach her until she IS old enough and mature enough to be on her own through marriage or independently.

Definitely will be praying here for you.....

_________________
"Who among the gods is like you, O LORD ?
Who is like you—
majestic in holiness,
awesome in glory,
working wonders?"
Exodus 15:11

http://www.achurchforthecity.org

"I don't reject your Christ, I love your Christ. It's just that so many of you Christians are so unlike your Christ." Mahatma Ghandi
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switchbladeknitter

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Female Number of posts : 804
Age : 41
Location : here I am!
Age : 29 and holding!!
Registration date : 2007-11-13

PostSubject: Re: THE BAD GUY   Wed Dec 31, 2008 3:37 pm

I agree 100% with Marcia. You keep on being the big mean daddy. I am a little shocked that she would even try to slip that one by you!
Stand your ground. She may pout now but in the end she will thank you for it.
The things we think we want at 16 are sometimes the things we regret the most a few years later.
You know what's best for your baby girl and even though it's painful right now to make this stand you know it IS for the best.
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Rastus

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Male Number of posts : 876
Age : 25
Location : haven't seen a sign for miles
Registration date : 2008-02-22

PostSubject: Re: THE BAD GUY   Wed Dec 31, 2008 3:41 pm

you change more between the ages of 13 and 25 than you do for the rest of your life put together.

it's silly to get married at 16...what mattered to me a year ago couldn't mean less to me now...keep being mean. a mean parent is a good one Wink
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Addy

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Number of posts : 41
Registration date : 2008-08-07

PostSubject: Re: THE BAD GUY   Sat Jan 03, 2009 8:41 am

I agree with everything said here

Stay Strong Jim you're not wrong here
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Panzer

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Male Number of posts : 219
Age : 53
Location : West Virginia
Age : 46
Registration date : 2008-12-06

PostSubject: Re: THE BAD GUY   Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:18 pm

After a few fights that they had with eachother I think now they are happy to wait....Debbie asked me if marriage was going to be like this. I said YES, but you wont have daddy to run to when things get rough, you have to work it out with just him, without me being a mediator.
I told them there is not a problem that cant be worked out over a pot of red herbal tea and some soft music with the smell of incense or flowers in the air.
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Addy

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Number of posts : 41
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PostSubject: Re: THE BAD GUY   Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:27 pm

And if its meant to happen it will
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switchbladeknitter

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Female Number of posts : 804
Age : 41
Location : here I am!
Age : 29 and holding!!
Registration date : 2007-11-13

PostSubject: Re: THE BAD GUY   Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:34 am

Just Jim wrote:
After a few fights that they had with eachother I think now they are happy to wait....Debbie asked me if marriage was going to be like this. I said YES

LOL!! Yes Debbie it will be like this - for the rest of your married life!!!!
I'm so glad she had this little wake up call now you don't have to lose your baby girl so soon and she will understand that there's more to being married that just being married. It's not like on t.v. or in the movies,if they showed all the ups and downs in regular married life I think it would scare everyone off marriage.

PTL that things so far have worked out for the best.
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