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 Am I a bad Christian for not going to church?

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Female Number of posts : 1
Age : 31
Age : 23
Registration date : 2010-10-06

PostSubject: Am I a bad Christian for not going to church?   Wed Oct 06, 2010 1:08 am

I am a christian goth in an area that is fairly close minded... I am usually very well accepted amongst most people, because of my very open minded and bubbly personality.

Though, my problem is when I walk into a church or even a christian book store, I'm suddenly hit with stares and judgmental and disapproving looks. People look at my clothes, my jewlry, and my make-up and suddenly think...well...the usual judgement of religious and moral values...

Ofcourse, I keep my sunny disposition and offer a friendly smile, but honestly it gets old. From what my mother has always told me and from what I've come to learn over the years is that you should feel at home, and comfortable in God's house. I mean, why shouldn't you feel comfortably in your father's house? Comfortable to praise how you want to praise in whatever you want to praise in.

I've come across this too many times. I'd visit a church and many would show me a false front lovingly welcoming me, then I could feel the stares and hear the whispers amongst them about my appearance. Many things about converting me, or why I'm even there. Then many would start comparing me to their church's "Angel". Why can't I dress more like her? Why can't I act more like her? Why can't I just be more like her?
Most times (being a more small town like area) I knew their little "angel" outside of church and knew they didn't act very christ-like at all. (Meaning this girl was usually very rude, and rather loose with her moral values....I'm not saying this to be over dramatic...I really mean it...I heard them talking about their escapades. Either in the college or high school halls.) At these times I stare at these people, nod it off, look around myself and realize....I don't belong.

After a while of going through the same game over and over...I just stopped trying. Now I just talk about God with my mother who spends most of her spare time reading about God, and studying his word, and the works done about God. Here lately that has been my church. Just my mother and me, every once in a while one of my friends, my grandmother, or my uncle join in on our talks and debates about God and his love and the life of Jesus.

I've often read and heard that being part of a church is a very important part of being a christian. Though considering my troubles with finding a church in my area that will actually accepts me (instead of playing the "Lets convert the Goth" game) Does this make me a bad christian for not joining a Church?
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Female Number of posts : 482
Age : 46
Location : Columbus, OH
Age : 36
Registration date : 2007-07-21

PostSubject: Re: Am I a bad Christian for not going to church?   Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:28 pm

No. It doesn't. It would be nice if you could find some like-minded or more open minded believers to worship with, but as is the state of the American church right now, you probably can't. But it doesn't mean that you shouldn't keep on praying for that. I mean, if you lived up here, in Columbus, Ohio, I honestly would not refer you to go to my church (unless I was in a rebellious mood and felt like shaking things up).

What I would do though is refer you to go to a church I know of called The Rock. They are in an old Calvary Chapel location and are allowing our group to meet there. The Pastor and his wife are like 30 and 31 and he rides a Harley. Everyone else there seems very loving and open minded about different kinds of people coming in there. Much more than I've ever seen anywhere else. There are older people there, but the kind they have would probably look at you and ask you if someone hit your fingernails with a hammer, then give you a hug and laugh it off. Seriously.

And my dad's like that, too.

I'm sure they aren't the only Christians like them out there in the world, so I would encourage you to pray that God leads you to a church like The Rock.

Meanwhile know you aren't alone and keep on keepin on with your mom and them, and who knows maybe one day one by one that will turn into a church!
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Male Number of posts : 219
Age : 53
Location : West Virginia
Age : 46
Registration date : 2008-12-06

PostSubject: Re: Am I a bad Christian for not going to church?   Thu May 19, 2011 3:24 pm

Follow which ever is more important to you , being accepted or dressing like a goth.....Back in the eighties I dressed like a metalhead , I was saved but when I went to job applications and visited churches looking for the right one I dressed normally , No leather and spikes , Hair neatly in a ponytail which i still got bad looks for that . I decided to dress normal when I went to church and soon as I got home it was back to the leather. Cause who I was was NOT in how I dressed it was what was in my heart.
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Male Number of posts : 5
Age : 36
Location : Atlanta Georgia
Age : 28
Registration date : 2011-04-27

PostSubject: Re: Am I a bad Christian for not going to church?   Thu May 19, 2011 11:57 pm

This post is pretty old, but I figure I'll put my two cents in. I don't believe it means your a bad christian if you don't go to church. I would suggest you look for a church were you feel you belong if possible. When I was 15 a rarely went to church. Then one day a friend at school invited me to go to his church for an evening fellowship. When I got there I saw a guy wearing a metallica shirt and studded bracelets. When I saw that I was thrown back. I never would thought people like that go to church. And because of that guy I started going to church there regularly and continued going there until I moved to NC.

The point I want to make with this is that even if others around you don't approve, you never know who's going to come in the door of your church and you dressing the way you like could be what they need to see in church.

I'm not saying you should run out and go to church tomorrow, but if you go to a church sometime, try and block out what the other people there are telling you and listen for what God is telling you.

I'm currently not attending church myself, but it's not because of how I dress. I just haven't found a place that has felt right yet. I still look (probably not as often as I should) and I believe when there is a place God wants me he will lead me there.
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Male Number of posts : 10
Age : 22
Location : Columbia SC
Registration date : 2011-12-05

PostSubject: Re: Am I a bad Christian for not going to church?   Sat Dec 17, 2011 7:35 am

This post is really old now, but I leave a comment too. I know how you feel about people just starin at you RockstarVamp, but dont stop trying to find the right church. I know there are people who are like: whos that, he shouldnt be here. And they just gossip all day. But the point im trying to make is, I knew it can be hard, but keep trying. Like Tonnenator sayed, hopfully you'll find a church like The Rock. Oh do you know theres christian metal bands out there. I dont know what specific subgenre or genre your in. But cheack out some bands like: As I Lay Dying, Living Sacrifice, Soul Embraced, Mortal Treason, Mychildren Mybride, etc.
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Number of posts : 6
Location : Cincinnati, OH
Age : not dead yet...
Registration date : 2011-12-01

PostSubject: Re: Am I a bad Christian for not going to church?   Fri Dec 30, 2011 1:17 pm

My take on it: I know there are plenty in the church I go to who might not agree with my take on some things, or any number of things about me. No biggie. As long as they don't actively give me grief over anything, I'm cool with them. The point for me is just to be in the company of others who seem to be giving a real effort to the recognition and reflection of Christ in their lives.
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Number of posts : 1
Registration date : 2013-08-03

PostSubject: Re: Am I a bad Christian for not going to church?   Tue Aug 13, 2013 10:11 pm

Churches for YOU!

The reason for being in a church is to be a disciple of Christ directly (as the Church is His Body) and hence to have one's life under Godly authority--within the Will of God. But of course, if you walk into a Fundamentalist church it won't be long til you feel so out of place that you either start wearing suits-&-ties or else go elsewhere. The churches I linked above are where I'd feel most at home; hipster-y Contemporary Worship churches also aren't a fit for me at all.

You might not look out of place in an Eastern Orthodox church too.
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