I HATE GOD SOMETIMES!!!!!!

Ok i was talking to a friend of mine lastnight...
and he is a little off his rocker, and he really needed my help dealing with some stuff, and i was up doing HW so i couldnt really talk, but something tolled me to answer him. so i picked up the phone and said hello and he started to cry and i knew who it was so i was like what do you need brandon. so he started to tell me all thes things that had happend that day and so i started to wrok on my HW again and kinda started to tune him out (bad thing for me to do i know) but then somthing brought me back really fast, i heard on the other line a click, (and not just any click, if you have lived around guns you know this click) and i was like brandon what are you doing...so he tolled me his plain (again, i wasnt lissening when he tolled me the first time) he tolled me that he was going to kill himself, so naturly i tryed to stop him. (he has tolled me this many times befor but never really didi it) he said he couldnt take it any more and he was going to end it. and then i heard the words that no friend wants to hear, "krisi i love you and i always will, see you on the other side" and then he pulled the triger!!!! while i was still on the PHONE!!!!! i could hear it, the shot and the dull thud of a dead body and all i could do was sitt there in stuned silence. so please pray for his family and me, i am feeling very deprest right now and dont think that life is worth liveing. i am mad and angry at god and dont want any thing to do with him right now. i have gone back to cutting and doing spells it is helping me very little.

Sweet girl, I am so very sorry this has happened to you!

Please try to understand, this was not God's doing and not God's fault. There are other influences in the world and God IS THE GOOD GUY. He will be there to comfort you and hold you while you cry and mourn your friend. He is grieving and weeping for Brandon right along with you.

Satan is the one who deserves your anger and your hatred. He is the one who put the dark thoughts into Brandon, causing him self-doubt and anguish and bringing about this hateful end to his young life. God wanted Brandon to have a full and happy life, but he loved him enough to let him make his own choices, instead of being a slave or robot to Him, telling him exactly what to do, what to think, and what to feel.

Krisi, we are here for you no matter what. However, you will need more than we can offer. Talk to your pastor, parents, counselor and let us know how you are doing.

KEEP IN TOUCH AND LET US KNOW. You are loved... dearly.

*crying* thank you guys so much.

you know whats the point of liveing any more? i mean it's dumb we are born to just turn around and die again some day? what is the Point?

right now I'm in the middle of one of my worst bouts of sad times in years, but I can tell you that it's what we do with our life that's the point. There's that saying 'life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away'
All of us are here for a reason I think. One of my beliefs is that every person is only here on earth as long as they need to be,but we're all here for something special. A person who dies when they're a grandparent or someone who dies when they are still a little baby.
Just stay strong hun, if you make it past the worst part of the storm the sprinkles won't seem so bad.

OH MY GOD..................................







I am so sorry I don't even know what to say. I thought for sure Tommy's friend was gonna do this. I can't begin to fathom how it would have been had he actually done it.

Oh my God..............


I am so sorry..........


And I feel like my words are failing me because nothing seems worthy to say to you...................

is little sister is so very sad...she is 6 years old and she worshiped her brother.

headoverheelsforgod88 wrote:

you know whats the point of liveing any more? i mean it's dumb we are born to just turn around and die again some day? what is the Point?

Because life is beautiful.... with God.

He made it that way from the beginning , but Satan is sooooo jealous of God's perfect love and His creations, that he has tried from the beginning to mess it all up. Remember God's plan for mankind was Paradise/Eden - living in perfect harmony and peace with Him and all the creatures. That's what God created for us.

But Satan's jealousy and evil made Adam and Eve sin, so now mankind has to live outside of Eden. Through Jesus, God made a way for us to come back to Him, in perfect love. Jesus makes the way to this day, and offers complete and total restoration to God.

That's what Satan didn't want Brandon to know, so he whispered crap in his ear. That's how Satan works - he doesn't care if you even believe that he doesn't exist. All he wants is to get your eyes and heart off of God and onto something else - anything else to take the focus away from Jesus and His work on the cross.

Don't fall for the same tricks. Recognize who you are and what you have in Christ. It's time to put Eden back into our hearts and live the way God created us to live.

Krisi~
I'm really sorry about your friend. When you get to a point where you feel your only option is ending your life, you have reached a place where only God can reach you, however, you have to choose to reach back. Your friend, for whatever reason was in such a dark place, he just couldn't do that. However, you can. You are STILL here and The Father is STILL reaching. I know that sometimes you feel it would be so much easier to end it all...But really...Would it? Think of how you felt as your friend spoke those words to you, think of how you are feeling now at this moment still....
God loves us, he has a future for everybody on this earth right now, the thing is, we have to seek, ask and follow God's will for our lives. It's never an easy choice to reach and surrender to God, in doing that, you leave yourself vulnerable to hurt, pain, grief...That you will NEED to deal with in order to BEGIN your healing. Healing from loss...anger, confusion, pain in general. The beautiful thing is Krisi, in surrendering to The Father all we have to do is leave it in His hands, all we have to do is be WILLING to allow Him to love you RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE AT. In hating God, being angry at Him, even questioning why He allows thing's, but BELIEVING in spite of OUR questions, OUR lack of faith, He will STILL be faithful in making us whole from ALL of it. Are you willing to do that?
Are you willing to beat the odds and prove everyone who has looked down on you your whole life that YOU ARE INDEED STRONG ENOUGH TO SURRENDER? To The Father? All it takes is a whisper of His name...Belief in your heart, can you do it? Your anger isn't a sin, you're being real with God and I totally think that's awesome, you are already ahead of MOST people out there! Now it's time to see how angry you can really be...angry enough to BEAT the odds?
We're all praying for you...and we've all been right where you are today, at this moment....questioning and hating God for something you don't understand. My heart is braking for your pain baby girl, but I emplore you...Do NOT allow IT to win.

Gesuschic~

I am certainly sorry for your loss. It is difficult for me to imagine why your friend would want to do that to you. I hope that you have people to talk to and be with during this emotional time.

You ask some very poigniant and important questions that each of us much answer in our own way. Why is life worth living? For me, it is the uncertainty and adventure of being alive. We live in a society that preaches that we should always be happy and that depression or sadness is a weakness that should be treated with prescription drugs. I differ with this philosophy. Our emotions are what make us human; revel in them. Understand that happiness and sadness and every emotion in between come and go. Like you, I have been in some very dark places. Yet experience has shown me that the darkness ultimately passes into the light. No matter how dark the night is when I look out my window, I know that soon the sun will rise and the darkness will disappear. Love your emotions; examine them for what they are and try to understand them. But know that they change, and when times are at their worst, they will get better.

You also ask why God would allow such a thing to happen. I've been dealing with that question much of my life, and I still do not have an answer. Indeed, it is partially (a small part) why I left Christianity many years ago. It is up to you to rationalize how a loving God could allow tragedy and turmult. If I am to believe in a loving God, I must also believe that God cannot stop some things. I do believe that God, whatever that might mean, can communicate with us and try to steer us in the correct direction. But in our realm, humanity rules, and while God may try to convince, it is up to us to listen.

In the end, I hope that you can grieve and learn to accept that sometimes things happen that shouldn't. And indeed, make your experience part of your quest for learning and understanding. After you get back on your feet, take a walk to a quiet place and listen. I think you will hear what you need to hear to take that next step . . .

Sincerely,

Ian

thanks Ian

Krisi I have no answers for you but my heart is with you and I'm praying for this situation.

Love,
Tonya

wow, that is hard core! and i think my problems are big! i am so sorry you had to hear such a horrible thing! (((hug)))