The Christmas Depression Thread

In all honesty I get a little down around Christmas time. I know that I am not alone. I thought I might post this thread to see if others might like to discuss this subject. I know that it is a mixture of things for me. I know that much of it comes from the bad memories of my childhood and certain alcoholic dis-functional incidents that I experienced in my family. Also my own heavy drug and alcohol abuse around this time of year before I got sober.

Anybody else get down around Christmas time?

Yes, I kinda do, my wife died on christmas eve of 99. Kinda puts a damper on the season. But I know where she is there is no more pain.

only because every time i walk into a store i hear the horrifying sound.

"have a holly jolly christmas..."

Good lord i hate Christmas music.

berserkr_1 wrote:

Yes, I kinda do, my wife died on christmas eve of
99. Kinda puts a damper on the season. But I know where she is there is
no more pain.

My heart truly goes out to you in that. I have never been married, but I have experienced the death of quite a few of my friends and an X fiance'.

MetalheaD wrote:

only because every time i walk into a store i hear the horrifying sound.

"have a holly jolly christmas..."

Good lord i hate Christmas music.

OH NO NOT THAT!!!!!

this time of year gets me down. November 30 of '01 my baby girl was still born right at the beginning of my 9th month. I ended up burying her on my birthday. So it pretty much destroyed my whole season.
But even before that this has always been a little bit of a sad season. I didn't really have what you'd call a happy household so some years I really tried to make Christmas nice but mostly it was just another day to get trashed except there was a tree up.
Me and Steven now have no family and no what you would call friends - just people we talk to so while everyone is all tv special like we just get to shop for each other and sit at the truck stop with a bunch of people as miserable as we are.

But if it makes anyone feel better - ((hug))

switchbladeknitter wrote:

But if it makes anyone feel better - ((hug))

HOLY HUGS back at ya!

But...

I am so very sorry for your loss...

thanx. I am to the point right now where I don't think about my daughter every day. But other women I know who have lost their babies always agree that you never really 100% get over it. It just hurts a little less as time goes on.

I usually lose my job around Christmas and I'm usually broke, and that's usually pretty hard because my parents are decently well off and they can't seem to understand the paycheck to paycheck thing. That and they're not the throw money at you kind of parents, they're the pull yourself up by your own bootstraps kind. Just the other day I drove my homeless disabled brother, who is staying with them, all over Columbus and my dad refused to give me five bucks for gas. He said it wasn't his problem that I didn't have a job. My mom was kind enough to chip in. Might I mention that we also have taken my brother in and fed him several days each week for the past month despite my unemployment. Yet five bucks is too much to ask when you drive a $25,000 car that's paid for, but whatever. That's him, that's how he can be. At least my mom appreciated me helping out.

But I'm done with jobs for a while now and focusing on ministry and starting my own business.....and Tommy's going to school.......so it's not such a bummer this year as usual.

This year we're going to be learning the value of trusting God's provision because He has made it very clear that I am not to have a job right now and am to focus on going 501c3 with our ministry.

Uh oh I'd better watch out, it sounds like I might start whining! LOL

But yes it's a bummer that I haven't had the $ to get my niece or nephew anything this year as of yet but I'm sure that could change I guess.

Trying to have faith....

I know that some people think it's a cop out but us hardcore craft whores know it's not - make people something! Yeah yeah I know gift making season should start late summer or early fall but you can still pull a few all nighters and manage it.

crafts are cool.....I need a beer can cozy complete with skulls and red and black jewels LOL.....Ill bet there would be a market for those .

I think they are the best presents.

Maybe if you're good Sandy Claws will get your your beer cozy next year.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Tonnenator wrote:

Uh oh I'd better watch out, it sounds like I might start whining! LOL

Don't you mean hhhhhh-wining??


T dear sister, this is exactly why I posted this thread. Thank you for sharing. I am glad you did. Keep your chin up and I am sure you will make it in full time ministry and in your free lance business. I have been trying to communicate with my folks lately and it has not gone well. My father had to go back to the hospital for a follow up to his heart surgery earlier this year. I guess he may need more surgery now, but I am not getting all the facts. They just tell me enough to make me feel guilty and than they refuse to allow me to be supportive. My father dis-owned a few years ago because of political differences. Now I find out that I am no longer welcome at my sisters for Christmas and no one will tell me why. It is either because the last time I came to her house for Christmas, she srung all this electrical work on me and acted like I was obligated to do it right than and there. I told her that I would come back and do it some other time, because I had my good cloths on. She got all upset, so I left. The last time I saw my father he tried to kick my dog and when I stopped him, he tried to hit me with a pipe wrench. So don't feel too bad, at least your parents know the Lord. Be thankful for that. I am sure that you can work it out. Maybe next time you can tell the ahead of time that you can't drive your brother around with out gas money. That seems fair enough to me. Right?

sorry about the family problems Tonya and Kuba.
suddenly the fact that we don't 'have' any family dosen't seem like such a bad thing.

it's cool though at least we all have each other.

i'm actually, slowly, getting very sad...and generally in a state of walking comatose and i don't know why. i just hope i get better before cmas day so as to avoid ruining it for anyone.

switchbladeknitter wrote:

thanx. I am to the point right now where I don't think about my daughter every day. But other women I know who have lost their babies always agree that you never really 100% get over it. It just hurts a little less as time goes on.

awww...i'm sorry about your baby. i agree with what you said. i lost a full term baby girl (christina) 17 years ago. she died one freaking week before her due date (2-5-91), and to rub things in, she was buried on her due date. ouch! that first xmas was awful. i had no clue what to do. years later, i started putting a little angel (my brother gave me) at the top of the tree, nearer to heaven.

last december ALL MONTH my mom was lying near death in hospice and on new years eve, God came for her. so this year is the first year without my mom. she LOVED xmas eve and xmas. so far, i'm doing okay. i have sad moments, but i'm okay. i'm quite a strong person. lots of heartbreaks and losses does that to one.

good thread. not everyone has a wonderful family to spend the holidays with. i have basically a few cousins and one brother 3,000 miles away in california. my son is always on xbox and husband on couch. no joy there. so i make my own...wherever i go.

HUGS to everyone.

That's just my dad, that's just how he is. It's not really what I'd call family problems, because it's how he is most of the time. He seems to be getting grumpier lately and honestly I feel more sorry for my mom than anybody else. Like my big brother says, "Hey, that's just dad, man" *shrugs*.

It's funny how most years when I was working full time office work, I would spend a lot of money on people for Christmas, and this year I spent maybe five bucks on each person because I was broke, but I'm more excited about it this year than usual for some reason. And when I've made people stuff, it has been even more exciting, I don't know why.

For those of you who have family problems, I would suggest hooking up with your friends whenever possible. Kuba, this is not targeted at you, but more to everybody else. Find some fun stuff to go to with your friends, and don't expect to or try to "fix" your family. I have some very close loved ones who are already trying to do that. Kuba, I think you know who I mean and it's not John. It's sad to see this person do that every year, knowing that they have us and others who love them and yet every year they want to "fix" like three generations' worth of dysfunction, and when they can't, they come home on Christmas dejected and biting the heads off of people who love them and loved them all along....

.....but I won't mention any names.

Tonnenator wrote:

I would suggest hooking up with your friends whenever possible.

Everybody is too busy with their own stuff. I gave up trying to fix my family and trying to connect with friends who are too busy for you at Christmas years ago. I just avoid the drama these days. I spend Christmas day with the Lord & my VERY bestest buddy!

SHADOW!!

((hugs)) for shadowfairy.
so sorry hun. I can understand about trying to create joy where ever you go sometimes that's all you can do.


and Kuba XOXOXO for Shadow!! I have this horrible habit of hugging and kissing strangers dogs in real life. Sometimes ppl are cool with it sometimes they drag their doggies away - quickly!

Quote :

I have this horrible habit of hugging and kissing strangers dogs in real life

do that with THIS dog...

eep! maybe with a suit of armor

I will soon be posting pics of me with my best friends dogs
One of whom I call my dog. The dog is as tall as me when she stands with her paws on my shoulders but she's a cuddle muffin.

Sorry I forgot about this thread... How did everybody make it through the holidays??

Well, I made it through the holidays and as per ussual, it was the same old thing.. Family flipped out, so I decided not to even bother going to visiting them. Most of my friends were too busy with themselves to bother with me, so spent most of the time with Shadow. I saved money on not driving anywhere, I took back the gifts I bought and even ordered Chinese food on Christmas day like the movie "A Christimas Story"!





and yes,,,,



It even had a Peking Duck with the head still on it....

fa ra ra ra raaa ra ra ra raaaaaaaaa

sounds like an awesome Christmas Kuba.
me and hubby just hung out at the truck stop. Got a free meal there - woohoo truck stop buffet LOL-

No hassle no fuss no dressing up and pretending to have a good time. Then we went back to the truck played video games.